A Call From Nowhere
by quiet before dawn
Summary: When it dawns upon Kensi Blye that her former partner isn't returning to the team, she begins to finally feel the loss. Needing a voice of comfort she calls someone she never thought she ever would. And it helps. A Kensi/Deeks oneshot.


**A/N; So this was just a little oneshot piece that came to mind as I was watching NCIS (_Twilight_). It brought back memories of the people who I've lost and how I felt about losing them. Of course, none have died in the malicious way that both Dom and Kate did - but I've still lost them nonetheless. I kind of felt that the show didn't _really_ go into how the team were suffering - I mean, it did show it a little bit but this is just my take on it. This is post season one - episode twenty one, (_Found_) - I'm not taking into consideration the episode afterwards. Read, and review my loves! Those little comments make my day so much brighter, (:**

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><p>She hadn't thought about him in weeks. Her dark eyes closed and she hugged her pillow closer to her chest, and blinked - letting the hot tears run down her face. He was always on the back of her mind, but that had all changed when she met Marty Deeks. He had brought a new level of frustration into her life, frustration and irritation. With <em>him<em>, things had been different. He had been so obedient, and when she told him to shut up - he did just that. Deeks was infuriating. He didn't know when to shut his mouth, and Kensi found it was such a dramatic change from _him_. She squeezed her eyes closed, and clutched at the soggy tissue in her hand.

It was guilt she was feeling. Weeks. He had been alive for weeks and she hadn't even taken a second of her day to think about _him_. Her chest tightened as another sob wracked through her body, she didn't know how to deal with this. She didn't know how to deal with another loss as painful as this. She was beginning to think that she was cursed when it came to loving people, _men_ in particular. She's experienced loss before, and on the very same level such as this one – but she doesn't know how to _cope_ with it. Her methods of coping had never worked for her in the past, and Kensi was sure that they weren't going to work now.

In the back of her mind – Kensi knew that it wasn't fair to place the blame on Deeks. He had been thrust upon the team; in such a short notice that Kensi was certain no one knew how to deal with having him on their team. They didn't get to _choose_ who became a part of their family, only Hetty was allowed the privilege – but even Kensi was beginning to wonder if she had the choice. As Kensi took a deep breath in, she closed her eyes tightly – shutting out the world that had been so cruel to her. She hadn't done anything wrong in the past, so why was God punishing her? She had reasoned a long time ago that God was not an actual being – not if he took fathers away from little girls. She hadn't grown to be a criminal, so why was he continuously ruining her life?

_Sometimes, things happen for a reason. _

Hetty's soft words from earlier in the evening came floating back to Kensi. She had known. Of course she had known, it was Hetty – Hetty knew all. Her eyes slowly opened, and came to rest on her cell phone. She was suffering, and there was no one to call. Sam had gone home to his family, and Callen? Well, Kensi wasn't sure where Callen was – but that wasn't who she needed to call. Her fingers wrapped around her phone, and she pulled it close to her – hugging it to her chest before flipping it open, and pressing her contact button. Reassurance. That was all Kensi needed. Reassurance that everything was fine.

"_Hello?"_

The smooth voice of the LAPD Detective floated through her phone, and she smiled to herself. Reassurance. She repeated the word over in her head. Reassurance. _"Hey, it's Kensi."_

"_Hey, Fern. You okay?"_ The concern in his voice touched her, it was soothing in a way – even just hearing his voice brought her a sense of relief and ease.

"_I just needed to know that you were okay, that's all."_

Reassurance, that was all she needed.


End file.
